Fabio was a successful player back in Italy and also in Luxembourg he joined a neighborhood club. He’s talented and after a year he was scouted by T71, a respected club in Dudelange. They invited him to train there and later to join. His parents even received some money. Fabio got new clothes and fancy sunglasses.
Fabio: I’m really proud and I cannot wait to show Casper and others at school. I really look great like this!
Casper: What’s the matter with Fabio today? He parades across the school yard with his new clothes and fancy shades. He looks awkward and fake, and together with the other guys we’re make fun of him. He really shouldn’t think he’s any better than us.
What’s going on?
When Fabio joined the neighborhood club he was just a basic team player. His friends at school liked him and they liked to help him settle in his new country. But a year later, when he is no longer vulnerable but proud and showing off his success, his friends get annoyed. Maybe they are a little jealous but besides this, they view Fabio’s behavior as bragging and showing off and it irritates them. People like it when you stay ‘normal’ and they value and respect modesty, even if you are successful.
What are possible solutions?
Someone should tell Fabio, probably a coach at T71, that one does not like it much in the Luxembourgish culture if one shows off one’s success. They see it as bragging and boasting. His Luxembourgish friends probably admire his success and accomplishment and Fabio can certainly be proud of himself, but he’d better not show it too much. The T71 coach should quietly tell Fabio or possibly his father could do so.
Luxembourg has a more feminine culture than Italy; it scores lower on the Masculinity dimension (MAS). In feminine cultures (MAS -), one focuses on caring for the ‘underdog’, those who are less fortunate. They have little sympathy for the ‘topdog’, especially if they brag about their success. This is seen as arrogance. Fabio is from a culture that is generally a bit more masculine, where people pride themselves (and want to be associated) with the success of self and friends and family.